I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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