You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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