You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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