is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
