we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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