Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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