i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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