Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize