i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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