I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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