The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
