I just threw up on my dentist
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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