She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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