the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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