Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
