Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
