do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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