i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
