turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
