nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
