On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
