it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I want a musical about memes.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
