You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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