And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize