what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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