TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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