I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
