and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
