Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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