btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
