If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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