I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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