it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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