How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
