Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
