Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
