I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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