Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
