If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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