It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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