He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
