oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
