youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize