Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
