you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize
