I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
