i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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