But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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