I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
