Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
