I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So squirting runs in the family.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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