Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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