I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
