He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
