NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
