problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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