My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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