Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
