This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
