THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
